Leadership and Coaching: The Cold Hard Truth

**A bit of PG-13 language in this blog**

An oddity of human biology–it’s hard to stay open-minded to new ideas, to personal growth/reform as you get older. It is REALLY easy to get set in your ways, the personal equivalent of a bureaucracy’s “But this is the way we’ve always done it.”

So I’m struggling with a quote from a leadership source I value…but before we get to that, I’m amused by how many Twitter profiles say “Quotes/Retweets are not endorsements”. Yes, they are. If I retweet something–it means I agree with it…or there’s an immediate sub-tweet with my disagreements. Always. So, while I was there working on Foundation stuff, that’s when I hit the quote and…immediately started fighting against it:

“If you can’t be kind, be vague.”

This was posted by a senior officer from an elite military force. You can say you aren’t endorsing it…but…

And so I find myself in ‘teacher’ mode–and that means I 150% disagree with that quote and then I got to wondering from a leadership standpoint–and I don’t think it’s accurate there either (though I guess I could be persuaded).

As a teacher–vagueness is unacceptable. Sometimes assignments are wrong or done improperly. How do we get students to improve if we are vague? What would you say to a teacher who wrote on your paper, “Well, I just didn’t really think it was a great paper”. Me–I’m filing a grade protest. How do you improve the next paper based on that feedback?

Same thing in a dating relationship…is it really healthy to avoid obstacles/hardships, winding up at “It’s not you, it’s me” or “I just want to go in a different direction”? Shockingly, over 30+ years together, me and Dr. Dietz have not always seen eye-to-eye on things. We’ve been frustrated and angry at one another. Did we wave it off with vagueness? Nope. We hit the nail on the head and discussed the faults–directly. It’s kept us from having Hiroshima-sized blowups.

So with leadership–if we are evincing ‘genuine concern‘, can we do that by pasting over problems? Isn’t it better to be specific, to offer our athletes (or students) specific criticism so they know exactly what’s not up to standards? Since the quote was offered by a military officer–think of it in those terms…you have a soldier who can’t hit a target with his weapon. That’s unacceptable…do you just urge him “concentrate!” or “Do better!” rather than addressing the fact he didn’t adjust the weapon’s sight, he isn’t using his off-hand to help brace the weapon,, or that he’s legally blind and shouldn’t be firing a weapon in the first place?

Vagueness–do better, concentrate, you need to pass the ball…how is that offering leadership? Aren’t athletes TRYING to do those things? In practice so they can play in games and in games so they can celebrate with victory? Am I offering leadership by saying “Hey, you need to get the ball to the setter!!” …because I guarantee my player hears it and is saying to herself, “Well, no shit, Dietz! What do you think I was trying to do?”

So if I give feedback…I need to be specific, not vague. Vagueness ≠ helpful.

But this got me thinking of something else–am I REALLY offering leadership in the first place by correcting a technical error during competition? Is that the right time and place for that sort of comment? Wouldn’t I be better off ignoring the technical mistake and getting the athlete to focus on the next point? Should I, instead, concentrate on providing feedback/comments that are tactical in nature, related to the in-game situation?

And with that–shouldn’t that then shape my commentary during practices? How can I expect technical proficiency with only vague comments?

Or–is that all irrelevant? Is constructive criticism to be considered something else entirely? I’m just struggling with this in terms of leadership…leadership cannot always be about kindness, rainbows and sunshine. If kindness is equated with specificity and I am leading–don’t I owe it to my athletes to be specific with the criticism, what may hurt as well? Because it is all meant to improve them.

Last thought–maybe being specific can only come once you’ve proven genuine concern, earned their trust and respect. Until you have that, maybe being vague is better? That just doesn’t seem right though.

Thoughts? –by all means, please share in the blog’s comments…